In the past, I had been able to avoid or minimize the rabbit hole, but this time was different. And it was one of the nastiness rabbit holes I have ever been in.

A common refrain for me is self-doubt. I wish I could say I no longer allow it to navigate me to places I don’t want to be, but I cannot.

Today, I couldn’t compartmentalize the stress and enjoy a moment with my canvas. The anxiety was at the forefront with every stroke of paint and scribble of my paint marker.

I’ve discovered on my path of self-exploration that the answers to the who, what and why’s about myself will change as I age and absorb new experiences.

Change is possible and you may never be able to predict what will spark that process of self-growth and understanding, and that’s okay.

I told myself it always ends like this when I don’t paint for an extended period of time, and that made me feel a bit better.